Written by El Presidente
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Sunday, 24 June 2012

Unconfirmed reports confirming a possible sighting of the infamous fat man in panties, who has been dubbed by the media as the "Fat Panty Man", have not yet been confirmed in Arkansas.

It is the third unconfirmed sighting of the man in four days.

Irene Sandlewhip, 24 and her boyfriend Clark Flatop, 65, believe they may have spotted the man loitering near a local IHOP, in the parking lot. They both estimated that he weighs anything between 200 and 250 lbs and was wearing ladies panties (pink).

"The fat man, in panties (pink), who weighs anywhere between 200 and 250 lbs jumped out at us this morning" said Irene and Clark "He did not say anything just waved before disappearing across the parking lot!"

The shock of seeing the fat man in panties (pink), who weighs anywhere between 200 and 250 lbs, so early in the morning, forced a rethink of the couples plans, instead of ordering "Unlimited" pancakes and coffee the couple bypassed their regular Sunday morning fare and Clark ordered 3 eggs, hash browns and bacon while Irene selected a country fried steak with orange juice.

An Arkansas PD spokesman has warned national chain diner users, encompassing IHOP, Denny's and Waffle House, to be on the lookout for the fat man in panties and if he is seen then no heed is to be taken to any talk of "a problem with the CERN Large Hadron Collider."

Reports of a skinny man in a diaper, spotted in Nebraska, are being investigated.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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