Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Golf

Sunday, 24 June 2012

image for Drunk Golfer Drivers Car on Golf Course, Hits his Car for a Hole in One
Look out for flying Leafs!

A very drunk Rockville, Maryland man, Jerry Sands drove his car off the road after leaving the golf course's 19th hole and ended up on top of a golfer who was teeing off on the 7th hole. The inebriated Mr. Sands flopped out of his car, stumbling wildly and waving his arms to keep his balance and immediately apologized for hitting his Nissan Leaf onto the teeing ground.

"Gosh dang nimity" exclaimed Mr. Sands to the shocked golfers. "Dayumm. These new Pings I just got keep slicing all over the place. If you could just bear with me, I'll just whack this sucker out of your way".

Jerry looked at the golfer stuck under his tires and then looked up at the stunned golfers and said: "Oh don't worry, my tires are Michelin's".

He then went to his trunk and pulled out his driver. To respect the golfer's lie under his tires, he moved his head to one side and put a golf glove button to mark his tee spot.

Wavering back and forth, Mr. Sands slammed his driver into the Nissan Leaf, spattering all of its batteries and sending its miles per gallon rating to hell.

Wouldn't you know it, he sliced it right into the road that runs along the golf course.

But luckily for Mr. Sands there happened to be two tractor trailers going in opposite directions and his Nissan Leaf fell between the two causing it to be a smashed blade thin and then shot out and landed right into the cup of the 16th hole. Unfortunately, a Mr. Dud was holding the flag at the 16th hole when the Nissan Blade slammed into the cup, slicing him in half.

But that's not important.

What is important is that Mr. Sands got himself a hole in one.

Police arrived at the scene shortly after and agreed to bear witness to the occasion and signed Jerry Sands score card.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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