Written by PP Rega
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Topics: lawsuits, Pizza, ACLU

Friday, 22 June 2012

image for ACLU takes FDA to Court on Punitive Pizza Ploy
16, 898 calories

The American Civil Liberties Union announced today that it has filed a lawsuit against the FDA for discriminatory practices against a growing minority group in the USA.

Acording to the lawsuit filed in Federal court, the FDA has illegally mandated that all pizza establishments will now be required to list the caloric content of any and every pizza pie that is sold. This new regulation has been bitterly opposed by piza joints and chains across America and also by the newly-founded Political Action Committee (PAC): PIE (Pizza Is Excellent).

PIE's claim is that the public doesn't eat "pies." They eat "slices." In fact, researchers state that Americans on average eat 2.1 slices per meal. Therefore, caloric content should be slice-based not pie-based. According to FDA stats, the average pizza pie is divided into 8 slices.

The ACLU has waded in on behalf of pizza-makers on this very issue. L.I. Beral, Esq of the ACLU Central Committee announced that, "We mean to take this issue to the Supreme Court if need be. It's an egregious act of superiority on the part of the FDA. It's out and out discriminatory against our nations' Dumb & Stupid! After all, how many of them can divide by 8!."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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