Written by anthonyrosania
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Friday, 22 June 2012

image for Supreme Court to FCC: Make Your Indecency Standards Clear, You Fucking Assholes.
The US Supreme Court in Monticello, NJ as depicted on the dime coin.

The highest Court in the land voted unanimously to overturn the Friggin' FCC's fines from networks for showing nudity and swearing on TV, in violation of their indecency policy.

The case stems from fines for language and revealing shots that typically accompany children's shows in the UK, including a bare ass on an episode of "NYPD Blue," a detective show that your grandparents watched in the 1940s, as well as curse words used by Bono and some reality-show meathole.

The offenses date back about 10 years, and include an aged female rockstar saying "Fuck 'em" on the Billboard Awards, some Irish attention-slut saying "fucking brilliant" on the Golden Globes, a beloved recent Saturday Night Live host making a two-pound bag of Skittles disappear into her 90-year-old anus, then asking fans of her video Podcast to "taste the fucking rainbow," and Nicole Richie asking "Have you ever tried to get cow shit out of a Prada purse? It's not so fucking simple."

The Court said: "In the instant case, we must first decide whether the broadcasted language constituted a fleeting utterance, or whether it is part of a broadcasting strategy to flout the law. We can conclude two things: First, these were indeed fleeting utterances. Second, you can smell (name deleted)'s yeast infection through the TV. What the fuck?"

"Oh, yeah. This is fucking great," said FOX TV's imprisoned president Rupert Murdoch. "Yes, it throws out 3 FCC fines. Three. It also lifts the stay against proceeding with disciplinary action against more recent complaints. And do you know how many of them there are? 1,442,563. That number is not made up. That is how many complaints the FCC now may prosecute. 200,000 against Family Guy alone."

Nevertheless, the decision leaves both sides declaring since it affirmed that the FCC has a right to levy fines, but reduced the amount each fine can be.

Protesting that the FCC wasn't declared unconstitutional, Howard Stern stated that he will droop his 60-year-old nutsack at half-mast for the next 30 days.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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