Written by Oleg the Tumor
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Topics: TV, Lucky, Antiques

Thursday, 21 June 2012

image for Another Lucky Winner! National Treasure Found on American Roadshow From Watervliet, New York
Watch the Drift! Bring her around and we'll hit em again! Tally Ho!

Observers of popular social media have been quick to point out the obvious. But now another obstacle has surfaced like a battleship for those seeking satisfaction to the insult handed All-Americans following events unfolding in Chantilly, Virginia.

Since the Logan Act was instituted in 1799 by John Adams, none of the original 10 forms printed up to be used as court documents have ever been used, as court documents that is.

When one of them recently turned up on American Roadshow to be appraised by early American document expert, Dr Busted Flatt, the renowned author, lecturer and personal friend of Nicolas Cage almost fainted and was given a chair. The reason for Mr. Flatt's sudden reaction:

"This paper stock is unique and well known to researchers. It is an exact match to the stock used by Arron Burr to embarrass Alexander Hamilton.

The document, entitled, "The Public Conduct and Character of John Adams, Esquire, President of the United States." Was written by Hamilton, but the document in question, if proven to be from the same paper stock, is clear evidence of a forgery by Burr. What Hamilton wrote was copied over by persons unknown. This proves that Hamilton was set up by Burr!

Dr. Flatt explained to Mrs. Marjorie Hollings, of Watervliet, New York, that she was the owner of "a national treasure … a national treasure"

When told that the piece of paper was essentially a $700,000 bill at auction, Mrs. Hollings, a normally affable housewife who spends much of her time doing volunteer work and baking cookies abruptly transformed herself into the USS Constitution and essentially gave the good doctor the same thing the HMS Guerriere received.

"You know, for a doctor, you are about as dumb as shit, let me tell you something, you greedy, chair sitting ass hole, if you ever had a chance to do something for your country you'd probably trade it away to become a bloody French King like the rest o ye…"

Twenty minutes. Later, as Dr. Flatt was pulling splinters and grapeshot out of his ass, he limped away rather like the HMS Serapis, mumbling something about the "Bloody French".

Cheeky fellow.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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