Written by Gail Farrelly
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Topics: Twitter, Birds

Thursday, 21 June 2012

image for Twitter Birdies Pull Work Stoppage
To work or not to work -- that is the question.

Most folks thought it was just a plain old "outage" when there was no Twitter for a while on Thursday. But that's not the whole story.

The Spoof has learned that the real reason for the problem (although the company denies it) is that the Twitter birdies, disgusted with their working conditions and their inability to improve them, just stopped working. "They felt bullied and they had to fight back," their spokesperson said.

These are the major complaints of the birdies:

Due to a heat wave in eastern U.S., the birdies had asked Twitter management for extra breaks so that they could rehydrate themselves. Management said, "No way. Drink water on your own time."

NYC Mayor Mike Bloomberg says that the birdies are too fat and wants them put on a diet of eating only low-fat worms.

A group calling itself "Bring Back Decency to the Air" has complained that it doesn't like the idea of naked Twitter birdies and has demanded that they wear uniforms while on business flights.

Ah well. This is a time when we should remember the words of Jacques Deval: "God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages."

...And crummy jobs for the birds as well.

C'est la vie!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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