Written by Aphrodite
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Wednesday, 20 June 2012

image for Michelle Obama's Irish Roots Linked to Loathing of Mashed Potatoes & Mushy Peas!
Michelle puts thumbs down on ANY Irish connection, including beer.

In recent genealogical revelations first lady Michelle Robinson Obama has been tied to
an Irish immigrant named Andrew Shields who fought in the Revolutionary War after becoming a citizen of the slave owning state of Georgia.

Exhausting investigations have linked Michelle to her grandmother, six times removed, Melvina, said to be a comely youth who excelled in sports and later gave birth to several children after hooking up with a descendant of Andrew, who can now be named as Charles Shields.

This is the second link to Ireland by the First Couple, Barack O'Bama's mother Anne Dunham having descended from a band of Spanish Black Irish living in Moneygill in County Offaly.

DNA tests have confirmed that Mr. Obama is 3.1 percent Irish based on the alcohol content of his blood. Statisticians are still working out Mrs. Obama's percentage of
Irishness based on a distillation of body fat, obtained after her latest bout with liposuction on her ample posterior.

Whilst the President has publicly embraced his Irish heritage in order to appeal to the 3.9 Irish members of the voting public in the US linking them in his push for his 'Green Agenda,' privately it can be revealed, both he and his wife are appalled at the connection.

Barack has said repeatedly that he never knew an Irishman who had rhythm or could dribble unless he was under the influence.

Michelle for her part, has made an edict that no potatoes be served at the White House saying, "I'll starve to death and emigrate before that carbohydrate passes through my lips and onto my hips!"

According to White House Chef Sam Kass, the 31 year old from Chicago who is assisting the First Lady in her personal crusade on obesity, a sort of "do as I say, not as I do" program being shoved down American's throats, the first lady has an aversion to peas as well, mushy or otherwise.

The President himself has declared peas 'distasteful' as he used them
In a political alliteration recently when he met with PM Dave Cameron at the G20 making his point that sometimes in governing 'you just have to eat your peas and mushing them about doesn't make them any easier to swallow."

The PM was said to have taken the point, later telling Coalition partner Nick Clegg, 'Sometimes when you get in bed with a dog you wake up with fleas."

According to the first lady's protocol advisor, Ireland's famous export beer Guinness has been banned in the White House and replaced at all of her husband's 'Beer Summits' with "Tusker" produced by Kenyan Breweries Ltd, and known as 'Keroro' by Kenyan natives.

Said the first lady about her decision to ban the popular Irish beer, "For the first time in my life I'm proud to enjoy a beer that's not hard to swallow!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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