Written by Dr. Billingsgate
Print this

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

image for Penis Pumps Blamed For Sucking Off Medicare Funds: Called GIP-VASES

BILLINGSGATE POST - A new report by federal auditors blames a Kansas-based company for possibly cheating Medicare and causing the premature ejaculation of Medicare funds through potentially fraudulent claims involving penis pumps. The auditors are asking the company to either refund the government the money or cut off penis pumping before the Treasury is sucked dry.

A Health and Human Services inspector said they sampled more than 100 claims made with Pos-T-Vac, the Dodge City based penis-pump manufacturer, and discovered improprieties in more than 50 percent of payments for what officials describe as GIP-VASES (Government Issued Penis Vacuuming Air-Started Erection Systems).

A Medicare compliance consultant said that "it was impossible to determine if the penis-pumps were delivered properly and actually used for erection purposes. Because of the amazing sucking power of these instruments of pleasure, some may have been inadvertently used to pump out flooded basements in New Orleans during Hurricane Katrina."

Reports of fraud is not uncommon in the expanding role of Medicare, said one Republican congressman.

"Now we know what Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman and the Keynesians mean by priming the pump," the congressman added.

Make Dr. Billingsgate's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 plus 4?

3 19 5 8
65 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more