Belgium - The secretive Bildaburger Group has chosen cartoon character Gaston to run for the office of President of the United States of America, according to our source, Jamie Rockafeltafish, one of the elite with a big mouth.
According to our source, they figure the cartoon character will be easier to control. Also, Gaston has many superlative properties:
1. No one spits like Gaston
2. No one's strong like Gaston
3. No one grins like Gaston (not even current candidates)
4. No one hits like Gaston
Americans are expected to be so drugged up they won't realize that Gaston is a cartoon character. During the campaign of course, screenings of Beauty and the Beast will result in equal time for the opponent.
They have picked him too. Click for the announcement.