Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 18 June 2012

image for President Obama Has Decided To Make Mexico The USA's 51st State
President Obama talking on the phone to Mexico's President Nacho Winslow. (Photo by George Clooney).

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama and Vice-President Biden were recently sitting out in the White House Rose Garden discussing ways of attracting more voters.

The vice-president had suggested that a great way to get millions of voters would be for the president to issue a Presidential Directive annexing Mexico and making it the 51st state.

President Obama gave Biden a fist bump and told him that it was an excellent idea and that he was going to give him a 15 percent raise.

As they were talking the president received a phone call from White House Press Secretary Cal Colfax letting him know that he had a visitor.

The president asked who it was. After he was told he instructed Colfax to please escort her out to the Rose Garden immediately.

As the two men sat at the Official Presidential Rose Garden Table Mr. Colfax walked out with Hollywood actress and model Eva Longoria.

Eva was wearing a pink tank top which read "I Bought This T-Shirt At The Alamo For $17" and a pair of Daisy Duke short shorts that looked like they had been spray-painted on.

The president and vice-president quickly stood up and asked her to take a seat between them which Longoria happily did.

President Obama asked her how she was doing and she replied that she was feeling as happy as a honeybee in a flower shop.

Vice-President Biden told her that she looked real pretty.

Eva blushed and said, "Thank you so much Mr. Vice-President,"

Biden grinned and told her that she could call him Joey.

"Okay then, Joey it is."

President Obama cleared his throat and told her that she could call him Barry.

"Berry?" Longoria asked.

"No ma'am, Barry with an 'A.'

President Obama glanced over towards Biden and then back at her and he asked her if she could keep a secret.

"Oh no. Don't tell me. You and Vice-President Biden are gay."

"No woman. That's cute but no," the president replied. Longoria then told him that he could trust her and that she would not tell a soul, not even her hair stylist FuFi Fondue.

He then told her that he and the vice-president had devised a plan to make Mexico the 51st state.

He said they figured that it would be a great way for him to get tens of millions of votes since as everyone knows the entire Republic of Mexico probably only has about 85 or 88 Republicans tops.

President Obama pointed out that there were three other good reasons for making Mexico the 51st state. He noted that one, Mexico has a tremendous amount of untapped oil down in the Yucatan Peninsula.

Two, he said that he was planning on nationalizing all of Mexico's Corona Beer and Dos Equis Beer factories which would give the U.S. treasury billions of dollars in revenue, and three, he plans to secure 100 percent of the PETA vote after he outlaws the centuries old practice of bullfighting.

"Muy bueno Señor Presidente." Longoria remarked in Spanish.

And as the trio stood up to leave the president smiled, took hold of her hand, looked her in the eyes, and said "And a buenas nalgas to you too, you sexy little muchacha."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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