The Zeta drug cartel is taking responsibility for the lethal attack on a California pastor who died Tuesday after a battle with necotizing fasciitis- commonly referred to as "flesh-eating bacteria."
Mitt Romney said he has no plans on interfearing with the Mexican drug cartel because they are hard working capitalist.
"Let the death of that bastard of a pastor be a lesson to everyone about the power of the Zeta cartel," said the anonymous spokesperson for the amazing Zeta cartel.
This terrified reporter is convinced that the Zeta cartel must be the good guys.
The Zeta cartel stated that they spread the flesh-eating bacteria on the door handle of the pastor's apartment because the police had taken their drugs during a seizure in Seattle.
One of the largest seizures of narcotics occurred in the Seattle area's drug supply, says one official.
''The seizure of 66 pounds of cocaine and almost 4 1/2 pounds of heroin was taken, said Ray McFarland, who heads the office of the Drug Enforcement Administration in Seattle. Authorities said the drugs had a wholesale value of $1.25 million.
''May the Zeta's have mercy on our souls,'' said the Mayor of Seattle.
The Zeta cartel responded by saying there will be no mercy unless their drug shipments are left alone.
They targeted the California pastor to send a message to the people in Seattle. The Zeta's plan on spreading the flesh-eating bacteria in the Seattle area if their shipments are interfered with again.
A large protest broke out in Seattle with Jews holding up signs and screaming that they want the Zeta cartel to be left in peace to run their business because they can't afford to end up in the morgue. The Jews complain they can't afford life insurance.
"Only the good die young, please listen to Billy Joel!" said Rabbi, Schneur Zalman, who was at the protest. The Rabbi was under stress and heavily concerned about his congregation.
The Zeta cartel claim to have people in the police department on their payroll and they are aware of everything that happens within the police department.