Written by Heeke
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Friday, 15 June 2012

The current Grand Wizard's of the Klu Klux Klan Forrest Wayne Rattliff, Jed Jordan, and Ryan Hanson, and Taylor Woodson Murphy have voiced their support of Bernie Sanders for 2016.

In a statement prepared today, KKK Grand Wizard Forrest Wayne Ratliff and his fellow Grand Wizards have come out in support of Bernie Sanders. They have pledged the full support of all KKK chapters throughout America and are currently dispatching their soldiers door-t0-door to get people to vote for Obama.

When asked about this radical change of ideology, Ratliff stated, "Hell, This Jew has more balls than most men and the fact that he hates America as much as we do can't mean he is all bad. That is why we have thrown the full support of our organizations behind him."

KKK members have been canvasing neighborhoods, decked out in their hoods and capes, placing "Vote for Sanders" leaflets in doors and even asking residents if they could place "Feel The Bern 2016? signs in resident's yards. One resident stated that they were afraid to open the door at first, fearing that it was a trick. That was until a four-year-old toddler knocked on the door and asked if she could put a "Feel The Bern 2016? sign in the owner's yard. The resident commented that she just couldn't resist the little toddler all dressed up in her klan outfit, smiling and flashing a cherubic smile.

Grand Wizard Ratliff stated that he and his fellow Grand Wizards are attempting to change the image of the KKK and the best way to do that was to support the only black man that is as racist as they are.

"We just want Comrade Sanders to know that all crackers ain't bad," Ratliff stated, adding, "We ain't as bad as those Black Panther people who seem to want to live in the past and blame crackers for everything."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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