Written by Adam Click
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Thursday, 14 June 2012

image for Wisconsin to Build Fence Along Illinois Border
Illinois resident Rham Emanuel is arrested as he tried to escape to Wisconsin from the sleepy boarder town of Rockford, IL..

Baraboo,Wi-Sargent Fred Bekopski sits in his patrol car on a bluff above the Wisconsin River and surveys the plains below through night vision googles, a cup of coffee by his side, the static of the police scanner in the background. It's a lonely vigil he's kept for the last sixteen months.

Now that lonely watch might come to an end as Wisconsin announced today that it was proceeding with plans to erect a twelve foot high fence along the entire Wisconsin-Illinois boarder from the banks of the Mississippi river to the shore of lake Michigan.

People have been sneaking across the Wisconsin boarder since the days of Al Capone, but they have never crossed in such numbers or as boldly as they do today. Encouraged by Wisconsin's booming economy and lower tax rates, Illinoisans can be found in large numbers at fairs and sporting events, from Janesville in the south to the popular summer resorts up north.

"They take our farms for their horses and clog our roads with their SUV's!", complains Herbert Fling, of Ashikaga, Wisconsin, as he sits on his pier, gazing across the lake at cheap Illinoisan McMansions dotting the opposite shore. "Seriously, I really don't mind having them here. It's when they fly their damn Cubs and Bears Flags that I object. That's just plain rude!"

Construction of the wall is expected to start by the end of the summer with completion scheduled for sometime in 2016, and while it may not put Officer Bekopski out of business, it should be enough to stem the rising tide of Illinois refugees.

Editors note: Adam Click's writings can be found in the bathroom stalls of most Interstate rest stops.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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