Written by Lola Heatherton
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Topics: Racism, apology

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Former Mayor Marion Barry arrived late this afternoon at local Park in Washing D.C. for a scheduled press conference to apologize to persons of Polish ancestry he had referenced in a previous apology.

Two weeks ago he had referred to Asian business owners as dirty Filipinos. In his apology to the Filipino community last week he got off course and started talking about different ethnic groups. He ended up referring to Poles as Pollacks in the rambling apology.

In today's apology Mayor Barry said he was genuinely sorry for misspeaking and he should have referred to Pollacks as their correct ethnic group name - the Poles. He went on to say the Polish people get an unfair blame for the Holocaust since they had nothing to do with it. A member of the local Polish community sitting next to him started to make a statement and then quickly changed his mind and only said that "he accepted the apology" and the two embraced somewhat awkwardly.

Unfortunately Mr. Barry went out to say that "he wants people to stop blaming the Poles for the Holocaust since everyone knows there never was a Holocaust". He then said he was sorry for being late for the scheduled apology but he had an Asian driver "and you know how bad that can be."

After finishing the the speech he met with local civic leaders and agreed he would schedule another meeting next week to issue another apology to at least two ethnic groups.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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