Washington DC, Tuesday 16 May 2006 - (Associated Mess): The Bush Administration has confirmed this morning that Libya is "overjoyed" at the restoration of diplomatic ties with the United States and is literally gagging for President George Bush Senior - the man who persuaded Ronnie Raygun to bomb Tripoli in 1981 - to be appointed as the Resident Ambassador to the Gaddafy Court.
Libya's official spokesman said it heralded a "new rage" in relations between the two countries and the start of "karmic pay-back time", naming Bush Senior as the mastermind who framed Mossad for the 1988 Lockerbie bombing.
The announcement was made by US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice who said the move would ensure Washington would remove Libya from the US' list of the "Assess of Evil" - the annual nominations for state sponsors of terrorism.
So far there has been no reaction from President Bush Senior's office regaring his appointment as the official US Envoy to Tripoli but a spokesman at the Bush family's ranch at Midland, Texas said he had it on authoritative advice that the retired President was "hiding out in the shrubbery" after Mrs Barbara Bush was reported to have been seen in the garden wielding a heavy sawn-off shotgun and a pack of sniffer-dogs.
Meanwhile the Libyan Government has issued a statement saying that restoring ties with the US was "an important step towards strengthening and promoting a covert campaign of screwing over the US Republican Party after years and years of failed attempts to get even with ageing Reaganite appartchicks".
The spokesman denied the move was a reward for Libya's decision to give up its weapons of mass destruction: "All the nuclear and chemical hardware we ever had came from the Reagan Administration in the first place, so who gives a toss about a few thousand stockpiles of rotting, leaky A-bombs?"
"As for this reward talk, politics knows no rewards. But a certain amount of karmic payback is always acceptable according to Sharia Law, just as long as you are pretty damned clever about how you dress up the camel jockey's racing colours", he added enigmatically.