Washington DC - The media group's biggest commissioning client has been named tonight as Iraq war monger George W Bush.
For decades his under-the-radar snoopers trawled the depths via NewsCorpse stooges checking up on Brit whitewash about, er, stuff from his druggy, drunken past.
Big, big stuff mind you, not just some isolated pubescent grassy knoll fantasy from the Brothers Grimm. Oh no.
Tonight a Foreign Orifice arm was twisted successfully to reveal that in 2000 Brit spooks reluctantly gave the nod to Bush's clean-as-a-whistle CIA file claims.
But being a suspicious kinda bastard Dubya hired an 'intelligence' gathering network to flesh out that confidence, recommended by his good pal Tony 'Dodgy Dossier' Blair.
Just to get a measure of the British nation's pulse during the 2000 Presidential election campaign.
"It was so successful it became an intoxicating pill," FO cult-cracking specialist Sir Peregrine Petrel Snipe-Evans commented, "and after a little while Dubya was totally, utterly hooked."
And so the NewsCorpse commissions poured in for dirt digging on anyone remotely aware of Bush's awesome Provisional IRA drinking pal connections from daze gone by before enforced sobriety propelled him to international statesmanhood [sick].
Tonight the entire criminal dossier has been laid bare before stunned mobile hacking scandal investigation cops.
"It's like an Aladdin's Cave of goodies," a QM-NewsCorpse stringer said tonight.
"Just goes to show why he was always Hitler's Pope's favorite son."