Written by b kenneth mcgee
Print this

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

The Republican National Committee sent an urgent message to its large donors this morning offering "two Congressman for the price of one" for each donation over a million dollars. By mid-morning the committee had raised over four hundred thirty- five million dollars for the House of Representatives and one hundred million for the US Senate.

Reince Priebus, Chairman of the RNC, was asked about the fund raising at a crowded press conference this morning.

Reporter: "Mr. Chairman, isn't this rather unusual, you know, such blatant fund raising and the appearance of our government being for sale?"

Priebus: "No, not all. It's just citizens becoming united, you know, democracy in action!"

Reporter: "Any other plans for other branches of government?"

Priebus: "Of course! This has been a huge fracking success!"

Reporter: "What else?!"

Priebus: "You know, all the way down to city councils, state representatives and senators. We have a corporate special we will be announcing this week for state Supreme Court justices, two of those babies and you can do any damn thing you want!" He smiled.

A journalist from the New York Times called out angrily, "Not the national parks and protected wilderness?!"

Priebus: "Of course!"

Journalist: "You're going to frack Old Faithful?!"

Priebus: "Of course!"

Journalist: "Why?!"

Priebus: "Old Faithful has become boring."

Journalist: "Mount Rushmore?!"

Priebus: "Gone!"

Journalist: "What in God's name will replace it?!"

Priebus: "Mount Rush."

As several of the DC press corps started to leave the room, one stopped and called out: "Anything else?"

Priebus: "Of course. You don't stop when you are winning. The government of China and Wal-Mart have made a very attractive offer for Boardwalk and Park Place!"

The reporter from the NYT now obviously very angry and red of face shouted, "Is there anything that you won't sell?"

Priebus: "Of course!"

"WHAT," yelled the journalist.

Priebus grinned and replied, "Our right to remain silent!"

Make b kenneth mcgee's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 plus 5?

4 12 8 22
53 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more