Written by Kid Icarus
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Mexicans

Monday, 11 June 2012

image for La Familia Michoacana burns down Colorado

Colorado- The Mexican cartel, La Familia Michoacana, is claiming responsibility for starting the fast-moving Colorado wildfire that continues to grow.

"El Guapo," spokesman for the Mexican cartel, said "La Familia Michoacana" set the Waldo Canyon Fire near Colorado Springs as revenge for the seizure of the marijuana fields in Ivanhoe, North Carolina.

"El Guapo", said there must not be anymore arrest and surveillance of members of "La Familia Michoacana," or the cartel will resort to more harsh methods.

The Mexican cartel informs that they send one man into the Colorado forest to toss a single wood match on some dry grass that sparked the fire. They say, it's easy to cause mass havoc if the cartel is interfered with one more time.

"El Guapo" said that the cartel will not take anything lightly anymore, because business is business and cartel members will not be easy pickings anymore.

The Colorado fire, burning in a mountainous area about 15 miles west of Fort Collins, grew to 22 square miles within about a day of being reported and has destroyed or damaged 18 structures and has spread quickly into New Mexico.

The fire sent up heavy smoke, obscuring the sun and creating an eerie, orange dusk in the middle of the day. The smell of smoke drifted into the Denver area and smoke spread as far away as central Nebraska, western Kansas and Texas.

People running from the smoke were crying and begging others to please not bother the cartel, it's not worth it anymore.

The cartel is also claiming responsibility for two wildfires set in southern Utah and in Wyoming.

The Mexican cartel is extremely powerful in setting rules and demanding respect, said a firefighter battling the fires.

The cartel is using high technologies, professional hit men, legal experts, professional spies, politicians, mass destruction, scientific innovations, a space program, a weapons factory, chemical laboratories, a cremation business, disappearances, kidnapping of family relatives, vandalism, deadly viruses, deadly bacteria, poison, radioactivity, ransom, blackmailing, and sabotage to advance their organization and generate their profits.

The cartels plan on buying all the corporations and Gold across the world to dry up what's left of the U.S. economy.

"It's a no win situation, the U.S. may be forced to become a communist nation and to give the American people their natural born freedom which they were always entitled too, after 187 years of human oppression in the states." said a government official.

The cartels plan on legally and competitively putting their great grand children as court judges, lawmakers, and peace officers in every state. They also plan on buying all the real estate across the U.S. and placing their great grand children in every aspect of the entertainment business. They plan on turning everyone that is not a cartel member into an industrial slave working for minimum wage to fill the labor force that will keep their industries alive and construct their financial empire. They plan on allowing sex orgies to run free and legal on the streets and anywhere else that slaves want to do it. They call it a cartel Disney Land, and they also plan on taking over Disney Land.

"Oh fudge, they can become honest citizens and give us the cold shoulder, forcing us to become poverty stricken, jealous, Gay, racist, and pan handlers like we have been doing to decent human beings for ages," said another official.

If the cartels don't do it the right way, someone else is bound to do it, so it really is a no win situation, the skies the limit and success is free for the taking, it's communism or bust weather they like it or not.

The future is crashing into the past, over 700 trillion highly advanced life forms across the universe don't want human beings to supersede them, over 900 trillion life forms that evolved in the fourth dimension don't want humans to trespass into their alien worlds, over 1000 trillion life forms from parallel universes won't let humans escape their universal legal system, human beings in the future who make people look like microbes don't want us in the future causing a microbial plague, and God is refusing to aide us through the perilous journey of life.

We forgot to look behind us to notice all the mammal predators, the AIDS virus, microbes of every type, and the never ending irrational molecules who want to use humans as a food source so they can supersede us in evolution.

Against such odds who can blame the Chinese people from taking the helm, giving us the cold shoulder, leaving the earth and colonizing a distant world far from our solar system, leaving us far behind. They are already starting their highly advanced space program, what's to stop them from living.

Make Kid Icarus's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 1?

8 3 21 24

Go to top