Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 10 June 2012

image for Texas To Increase The Speed Limit Between San Antonio and Austin To 85 MPH!
After Highway 131, opens herds of cattle like this one will simply look like black and white blurs to the 85 MPH motorists.

AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry has just announced his decision to allow the speed limit on the presently still under construction Highway 131, to be increased from 55 MPH to an amazing 85 MPH.

The stretch of highway located between San Antonio and Austin is known locally as "Rocket Road" and will officially open later this year.

Governor Perry informed a crowd gathered at his state mansion Hacienda Howdy that when the 85 MPH speed limit is implemented highway 131, will be the highway with the fasted posted maximum speed in the entire Western Hemisphere.

He noted that outsiders from Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Louisiana will flock in just the get the rush one gets when one is travelling at 85 miles per hour in a KIA Spectra, a Volkswagen Beetle, or on a Yamaha Motorcycle.

The governor said that he hopes to christen the 75 mile stretch of highway The Nolan Ryan Fireballing Speedway in honor of the Texas native and former Major League blazing fastball pitcher who pitched seven no hitters during his career.

Perry noted that all Texas Department of Transportation Patrol Cars are presently having their engines revamped so that they can be able to travel at speeds of up to 120 MPH in order to catch any motorist who may be driving above the 85 MPH posted speed limit.

The new highway will help to alleviate congestion on Interstate 35, between San Antonio and Austin which currently sees an average of 6 million vehicles on a daily basis.

Governor Rick "Electric Chair" Perry noted that the only people who are upset about the new 85 MPH "Rocket Road" are the fast food chains who will lose a lot of business due to the fact that not very many drivers are going to want to slow down to eat once they reach a top speed of 85 MPH.

In A Non-Related Story. The state of Maine has just passed a law which outlaws the consumption of beer within the state. A spokesperson in the governor's office stated that if you want to drink beer you can go down to New Hampshire to do it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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