Written by Chief Cheese

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Topics: Mitt Romney

Saturday, 9 June 2012

Boston (June 10)-Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced on Sunday morning's edition of 'Meet the Gay Press' that he has recently had millions of credit card accounts and passwords stolen.

When asked about his creditworthiness, in light of his second attempt to become President, Romney responded: "My wife and I have good credit, and like most American families with millions of cards, most of them have some credit left over. I mean, we have good credit; don't get me wrong.

"I just learned this morning, in fact, that someone charged a couple of cars on one of the stolen cards, so that's frustrating for me."

"I just find it astonishing that this administration hasn't gotten its priorities together, after nearly 4 years," said Romney. "I mean, the protection of consumer passwords should become job #1 for the Justice department. I should also mention that if I am elected, along with the EPA, I'll be abolishing the Justice Department."

Mr Romney went on to say that he was forced to join Bain&Co out of college because his wife "just kept buying shit" and wouldn't stop.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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