Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 7 June 2012

image for Cannibals Request To Be Called 'Food Challenged Americans'
How Food Challenged Americas See Us

Miami, FL-- Recent stories in the news have shed light on one of America's smallest minorities--the cannibal. This new minority is now coming out of the closet and claiming their rights like any other citizen. 21st Century cannibals want to be known by a more politically correct name--Food Challenged Americans.

"The word 'cannibal' carries so many derogatory associations with it." said Dr. Lonny Pork, an avowed Food Challenged American. "People think of Hannibal the Cannibal or they think of some scary zombie eating someone. We really aren't like that."

Dr. Pork says Food Challenged Americans come from all races and all walks of life.

"We're doctors, lawyers, bus drivers--you name it!" said Dr. Pork. "We just want to be respected like anyone else."

Dr. Pork said 'cannibaliphobia' is pointless and non-Food Challenged Americans need to get over their fear and loathing.

"We can't eat all of you--there aren't enough of us!" said Dr. Pork. "That's why we are food challenged. Don't be afraid of us--we promise not to eat you until you're dead!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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