Written by CaptainSausage
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Topics: Jesus, Religion, Driving

Thursday, 7 June 2012

image for Jesus fails driving test
Jesus taking the wheel

Jesus Christ has failed a driving test in Alabama, USA. Jesus himself could not be present for the actual test, so a statue of him on a crucifix sat in the driving seat.

Alabama police demanded the test after local woman Halle Luya was involved in a car crash. She explained, "I was driving along, and the weather was blowing real bad, I thought maybe the rapture was coming. So I lifted up my hands and I said 'Jesus take the wheel'. And then the car drove off a cliff."

"By some miracle I survived, and I thank Jesus for that. He saved my life that day."

Following the accident, the statue of Jesus was ordered to take the test in Montgomery, Alabama, with a driving instructor sitting in the passenger seat. The instructor asked Jesus to check his mirrors and then to take the wheel, at which point the car drove off a cliff, leaving the instructor in a coma.

Halle Luya said she was shocked that the instructor was injured so badly, but attributes his miraculous survival to Jesus. "He surely is Lord, if a bit of a bad driver." The police suggested that perhaps it was unsurprising he had trouble driving as his hands appeared to be nailed down.

Owing to his repeated poor driving, Alabama's Department of Driving Safety have issued Jesus with a restricted licence, meaning he is not allowed to "take the wheel" of a moving vehicle on a main road.

Miss Luya has said that the whole experience has deepened her faith, and is reported as saying, "If this doesn't prove that Jesus is Lord then nothing does."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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