Written by Dan Cun
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Thursday, 7 June 2012

image for Drones To Be Deployed In US Airspace to Combat "Zombie" Virus Epidemic
Obama Orders Drones To Bomb Zombie Strongholds

Just two days after a drone strike killed Al Qaeda's second-in-command, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta made it clear Wednesday that drones are an option as long as the U.S. needs to defend itself against the zombie virus that is threatening America.

The CDC has officially announced that it has no idea what is turning normal American's into flesh hungry, energy laden zombie like creatures with super human strength and that it cannot contain the outbreaks. It is now estimated that 45,000 people are now infected with the virus, including the residents of a small town in Nebraska that yesterday was "wiped of the map" after infected townsfolk attacked law enforcement and military personnel.

Meanwhile in Miami, where the first case was reported, worried residents are reporting to make shift isolation units and hospitals, set up in schools and government buildings where they are being monitored and securely guarded by armed military personnel, hastily returned from Afghanistan to combat the spread of the disease.

Homeland Security are set to close all ports of entry and exit to the United States later this week and only essential flights will be able to land on US soil, those being flights containing British tourists on their way to Disney or British tourists on their way to Las Vegas.

The President has cancelled his annual four week summer holiday to the Bahamas and instead will spend the next month at a Nevada desert resort known as Area 51.

The Nigerian government has announced that it may have finally discovered the origin of the virus, some speculating that a meteorite, which was being transported from the jungle to the capital Lagos via air transport, could contain extra-terrestrial germs, potentially fatal to the human race.

Missing journalist John Keegan, who broke the zombie virus story, the link to Nigeria and the obvious connections to the Mayan Doomsday prophecy set for 21 Dec 2012 has still yet to be found, however there are reports he has escaped a military prison, accompanied by a rouge female FBI Agent and is set to make a shocking announcement on live TV, in what many are calling a potential finale to the whole Zombie virus crisis.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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