BILLINGSGATE POST - Liberal Hollywood cartoon character, Woody Woodpecker, threw a gala fund raising dinner party for the President at his tree house overlooking the Pacific Ocean last evening. Guests, including the five Steven(Stephen) brothers, Spielberg, Tyler, Seagal, Hawking and Colbert, all paid $10,000 to sample entrees as simple as toothpicks and chopsticks while enjoying the view from Woody's perch.
Among other guests who donned spiked climbing shoes to shinny-up the host's home were Jessica Simpson, Rex the Wonder Dog, Hugh Hefner and Porky Pig. Guest-of-honor, President Obama, arrived by helicopter just in time to deliver a speech from his Teleprompter. Interrupted at times by the staccato pecking of Woody as he attempted to interpret the ganky Obama's delivery to the rest of the guests, the President was nonplussed by the narcoleptic effect his words had on the semi-enthralled group of dignitaries.
Largely embalmed by the dulcet tones emanating from the pinched-mouth peckering of Barack Obama as he once again described how he personally took down Osama bin Laden, Barbra Streisand hung onto her lofty perch by placing her own beak, once described by a pundit as a nose growing out of a nose, between the legs of Henry Winkler.
With nearly a million dollars stashed into his valise, the President was picked-up by his helicopter and flew off quite pleased with how he had plucked another flock of pigeons.