Written by JAB
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Tuesday, 5 June 2012

image for WTF - real news is so f'd up
" The Truth is out There"

A gay porn actor from Montreal, Luka Rocco Magnotta, is suspected in the killing of his acquaintance, videotaping and posting online the man's dismemberment and mailing the severed limbs to different locations in Ottawa, including to a political party's headquarters.

Alex Kinyua, admitted to using a knife to kill and carve up Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie, before eating his heart and parts of his brain. He had been staying with Kinyua for about six weeks at his townhouse in the Baltimore suburb of Joppatowne.

A naked man was discovered in downtown Miami in the process of chewing off the face of another man. The attacker, who had already devoured the victim's eyes, nose and ears, growled at a police officer, who shot him several times after numerous orders to desist. The victim was left fighting for his life, with 75% of his face missing.

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg wants to ban the 20 ounce Slurpee.

The world is due to end after the Mayan Great Cycle completes the 12th Bak'tum. It's either the 21st or 23rd December, 2012 depending on whether you use the 584,285 or 584,283 correlation coefficient.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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