Mayor Michael Bloomberg has announced that henceforth New York City will no longer be nicknamed, "The Big Apple."
At his noon news conference, Hizzoner unloaded this latest bombshell to the unsuspecting news services.
"A 'Big Apple' suggests that 'big' is a good thing. That can lead to over-eating, obesity, disease, and early death," explained Bloomberg.
He went on: "In most cases, 'BIG' is bad. In a few cases which I will not discuss, BIG can be quite good, but not in relation to food."
Several reporters countered that a big apple has no more that 100 calories at the most and is one of nature's most healthy foods.
However, The mayor in a fit of pique yelled, "I am the mayor. I know what's good for you. And from now on, New York City will be "The Cute Apple."