Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Cannibalism

Monday, 28 May 2012

image for Greyhound Bus Cannibal to get Hospital Furloughs after Agreeing to eat only Vegans

They Grey Hound bus guy who stabbed another guy to death and ate part of him while requesting take home boxes for the parts that he did not eat, has now been granted furloughs from Canada's Asylum for Future US Members of Congress which is more commonly known as the Big Fucking Loony Bin.

Speaking for the mental correction facility, Dr. Fuse-a-Brain told the press gathered at Newfoundland's Alcatraz Playground, which, ironically happens to be where the asylum is located, stated:

"Mr. Stab has been found to be mentally competent to start taking civilized furloughs into our society. Believe me, we know what we are doing because if we didn't we wouldn't all be psychopaths running this place, now would we?"

"Mr. Stab has shown great strides in his recovery. Yes, yes, I know you have heard the stories about Mr. Stab's first week here. Sure, Mr. Stab killed and ate 4 of his roommates in his first week of rehabilitation, but so what? He killed and ate two Republicans and two Democrats. Geez, the guy did say he was sorry now didn't he?"

"Hell, he said that eating them made him feel really fucking sick! Man, give the guy a break will you? It's not like he's Lady Gaga!"

"Mr. Stab has been diligently attending all of his Cannibals Anonymous meetings and has come to the conclusion, that eating political people is really bad. He has sworn all of them off and has vowed to only eat vegans".

"Honestly, are vegans really people?

"I mean get real! The guy is just eating a bunch of spinach and potatoes. Geez, who doesn't eat spinach and potatoes? Do you ever hear about people eating spinach and potatoes being called cannibals? Hell no! The people of Idaho would welcome him with open arms. That is if they have a good supply of vegans available".

"So let the first person who has never eaten a vegan throw the first potato!"

"So! Are there anymore questions?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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