Written by mikewadestr
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Congress, idiots

Monday, 28 May 2012

image for Study finds that Congress is Getting Dumber: You don't Even want to know about the People who Keep Voting them into Office
I hope everyone at their worm today!

A recent study has found that unbeknownst to the rest of us the US Congress is actually getting dumber.

Who knew?

The study was conducted by the Society of Dysfunctional Ping Pong Players, who studied the last 20 years of Congressional Representatives thinking patterns, with a device known as the Binger. The Binger device found that the average Congress person now thinks at the sixth grade level and yet talks at the fifth grade level.

This kind of puts Congress between finishing their book report on Huckleberry Finn and trying to boink Laurie Feeblebottom who has those really huge tracks of land.

The Society discovered that back in 2005 Congress was thinking about getting their drivers licenses which would put them at the 10th grade level and yet speaking about trying to make the Junior Varsity Marble Team which put them at the 9th grade level.

It makes you wonder just what the US colleges are teaching kids nowadays?

This definitely does not bode well for all the people who have been voting them in, time and time again as the Society, also, found the average American now thinks at the fourth grade level and yet texts at the first grade level.

The Society has done research to suggest the educational degradation is happening exponentially and in the next ten years Congress will be thinking at the 12 month level and yet texting at the 6 month level or possibly even faster.

Who knows, maybe tomorrow they will all be dumber than a bucket of worms.

As far as the rest of us, well things are looking pretty grim.

As a matter of fact, has anyone ever given thought as to why they cannot see their nose? That's because everyone's nose is on the moon, which is why we should stop all lunar missions immediately because landing on the moon would smash a whole lot of people's noses.

So in conclusion, it has been proven that worms are taking over the Ivy League schools because this author has witnessed it personally. And by the way, don't ever step on a worm because I have been told that if we do, the worms will take over Wall Street and foreclose on everyone's twitter accounts.

Believe me, worms are really smart.

So remember when you go to vote this November, vote for the person with the biggest button because small buttons mean that they don't know nuttin'.

Make mikewadestr's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 multiplied by 2?

2 17 25 10
66 readers are online right now!

Go to top