Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 27 May 2012

image for The North American Hurricane Center In An Effort To Be More Citizen Friendly Will Be Using Generic Hurricane Names Such As Hurricane Bud
Ann Coulter was in her Vermont summer home when Hurricane Irene hit on August 27, 2011. (Photo by Ashton Kutcher).

MIAMI - The North American Hurricane Center has just informed the American public that it has made a revision to the names it will issue for hurricanes.

North American Hurricane Center Executive Director Fittipaldi Fiddlefire, 47, stated that due to the tremendous amount of complaints that his office received last year they have decided to make some hurricane name modifications.

Mr. Fiddlefire informed the news media members that cover the weather that after an extensive three month research study they found that most people did not really appreciate having dangerous, destructive hurricanes named after themselves, family members, neighbors, or co-workers.

One woman, a geography teacher named Irene Ticketytick, 51, of Coney Island, New York, stated that in late August of last year as Hurricane Irene was working her way up the Eastern seaboard she would hear the phrase "Hi Hurricane Irene, you sure are one mean woman" at least a dozen times on a daily basis

Ms. Ticketytick said that it got kind of old after about the 85th time of hearing it.

Another woman, Peoria P. Wellywind, 32, who resides in Half Moon, North Carolina, stated that her great grandmother Irene Cobblerwax who is 101, became extremely depressed anytime she would hear the Weather Channel reporters refer to Hurricane Irene as being one horribly bad lady with the capability of being tremendously destructive.

So The North American Hurricane Center decided to change some of the more common hurricane names such as Hurricane Bruce, Hurricane Margarita, and Hurricane Jolene to more generic sounding names such as Hurricane Dude, Hurricane Bro, Hurricane Gal, and Hurricane Sweety.

The NAHC stressed that they were making this monumental change in the hopes of hopefully reducing some of the consternation, anguish, and despair among the American people, especially the senior citizens.

In Sports News. Boston Celtics guard Rajon Rondo told Tango Brisket of Sports Territory Magazine that if the Boston Celtics do not defeat the Miami Heat in the Eastern Conference Championships, he will donate $1 million to purchase palm trees and bougainvilleas for the elderly folks of Miami.

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