Written by ArtismyName
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Topics: America, Economy

Friday, 7 November 2003

With the economy the way it is, it's a shame to see so many untapped natural resources, right here in America.

Yes, I'm talking about the handicapped...sorry I mean, walking impaired. Hey, you might say that's, prejudicial, well it isn't, mainly because I myself just happen to have been born ambidextrous.

The problem with America is that we lost faith in our handicapped. But I haven't. I feel they have the ability, and could contribute greatly to our society, as well as our economy, if only they were allotted the same opportunities you and I receive.

That's why, I propose...no…I challenge Hollywood to change its unfair hiring practices, and hire more representatives of the handicapped community.

When was the last time you saw a movie with a cripple in it? Well, I don't know either. But what I do know is that Hollywood needs to stop wasting my time and their money on these elaborate high budget special effects action flicks.

Instead they could just as easily, allocate those resources into employing members of the handicapped community as actors, and especially as stunt-men.

I think we've all become tired of these fake-looking computer animated action sequences, how much livelier and stunning would these scenes look if, they had used actual people to shoot them. And the best thing about it is, no-one can ever be seriously injured during these productions, on account of them already being seriously crippled.

You don't even need a great budget, the films practically write themselves. Heck, you give me a cripple, a camera, and one of those straw jammies hooked up to a cars' steering, and I'll give you the greatest God Damn action film you ever seen!

Hell, I could do for Christopher Reeve's movie career what Tarentino did for Travolta.

Just let that thought marinate for a minute, and then tell me who's insensitive? I think we can all agree that it's obviously those Hollywood types.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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