Exactly when Sacramento, California police chief's wife, Sally Ice, lost her orgasm is unknown. It seemingly disappeared somewhere between St. Valentine's Day and this morning when she first noticed it was gone.
Fortunately for Mrs. Ice, her husband Police Chief Ian Ice, has made finding her orgasm the department's number one priority and has assigned all 10 officers from the department's Boink Squad to recover it.
"At this point in time we are treating this as a theft", stated Police Chief Ice. "I know my wife. I cannot believe that she accidentally lost it somewhere because she pretty much is very careful about keeping it with her all the time. I'm guessing someone broke into our house through an open window at night while we were sleeping, snuck into the bedroom and lifted Mrs. Ice's orgasm. Apparently, we cannot put an exact date on the theft because of the fact that Mrs. Ice has not used her orgasm since St. Valentine's Day. She discovered it missing when she went to use it this morning".
"Boy what sleaze bag would do something as low down as that".
"But I tell you, we have probably the best Boink Squad in the country. These boys have never failed when it comes to recovering women's orgasms. They are a tenacious bunch and will continually poke into every bush, cave and crevice until they find it. The good thing is my wife did put tracking software in her orgasm, so I can imagine that they start with that first".
"This whole thing really deflates my boat, as it appears it will be a while before the two of us can do the humpty dumpty".
In other news it has been reported that North Carolina Pasture Charles Worley has lost his mind.