Written by Don Fulsom
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Topics: Kids, Toilet

Sunday, 13 May 2012

The medical genius that recommends breast-feeding until a child reaches puberty, now suggests that kids should be allowed to poop in their pants until high school.

Gertrude Smith, M.D. says her firm's patented "Turd-O-Matic "training johns" play a cute recorded children's nursery rhyme ever time an elementary student soils his or her knee-length rubber-lined training johns.

For high school students, the training pants reward any diaper deposits with a classic hip-hop number. This is supposed to remind the pants pooper that he or she could wind up hooked on such crass "music," whereas most sophisticated non-pants poopers in their classes go on to love opera. "It's a controversial and complex theory," said Smith. But it works!"

Doctor Smith maintains the Poop Till Your Pants Droop policy at most area high schools is "well worth the awful smell and the chances of serious illness form poop pollution if it helps these children psychologically like I think it possibly might do. And I firmly deny that my advocacy of Late Pooping has anything to do with my owning "Turd-O-Matic."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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