Citing increased concerns about threats posed by underwear bombers, the U.S. Congress passed a new law this week: Americans must wear underwear OUTSIDE clothes. Hiding it is no longer an option.
The new law has received mixed reviews. Entertainer Madonna, a big supporter of the new legislation, has commented, "Think back to the 80s when I was criticized for wearing my bra outside my sweater. Ha! Where are those naysayers today? The Material Girl has the last laugh. Who's sorry now?"
Victoria Secret executives are thrilled with the new law, as they watch the sales of women's sexy underwear soar to new heights. In a public service announcement, one of the executives said, "Ladies, the eyes of the world are upon you. Get rid of that old threadbare underwear. It's a brand new day."
Many men are not big proponents of the new law. Bachelor Barry Boring commented with a sigh, "I used to be a man of mystery; y'know, the whole boxers or briefs thing. Now that's all gone."
Gents who wear kilts were completely unfazed by the new legislation. "How does that song go?" said one of them. "Nothing from Nothing."
"Whether the new law is constitutional will eventually be considered by the Supreme Court," said the U.S. Chief Justice. He went on to point out, "Before we are able to meet in judicial session, though, we have to figure out how to squeeze our underwear OVER our judicial robes."
Meanwhile, President Barack Obama has thus far refrained from expressing an opinion on the new law. "My view is still evolving," he said.