Written by Van Derbin
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Thursday, 20 April 2006

image for Chinese President causes confusion for Bush administration
President Bush shakes hands with Chinese President Hu Jintao at the White House yesterday.

WASHINGTON DC --- Chinese President Hu Jintao was the cause of a frenzied search yesterday when Bush administration officials were unable to locate the visiting leader, who was supposed to fly to Seattle, Washington later in the evening.

Jintao was a no show at a midday press conference with President Bush and Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, leaving both confused and embarrassed in front of a crowd of international media and dignitaries.

"Hu's in the Oval Office?" Rice asked Bush.

"No one. Hu's in the Capital Building," said Bush.

"I don't know. Some senators maybe?" asked Rice.

"Huh?" said Bush.

"Hu's in the Oval office?" repeated the Secretary of State.

"I don't know," said Bush. "Hu's in the Capital Building."

"Who's in the Capital Building?" asked Rice. "Why do you keep asking me that?"

"Yes, Hu's in the Capital Building," said Bush.

"Who cares," said Rice. "Hu's not here."

"Is who supposed to be here?" asked Bush.

"Hu," yelled Rice. "Hu is supposed to be here right now."

"I don't know, dammit, stop screaming at me, Condie," said Bush. "Now, who the heck are we talking about?"

"Hu," screamed an exsaperated Rice. "Who is supposed to be here at this press conference."

"I don't know. Don't look at me Condie," said Bush. "I'm not in charge of organizing."

"Hu is supposed to be here," repeated Rice.

"I think we are," said Bush. "But to get back to your earlier question, who's in the Oval Office right now?"

"Hu's in the Oval Office?" asked Rice. "Why isn't Hu here with us?"

"Who?" asked Bush.

"Hu," said Rice. "Who was supposed to be here."

"Maybe it was Rummy?" replied Bush. "By the way, Hu was supposed to be in the Capital Building."

"Like I said before, I have no clue," said Rice. "And anyway, who cares."

"I'm sure he does," said Bush. "Hu cares deeply about his visit to that historic building."

"I give up," said Rice. "Tell me?"

"Tell you what?" asked Bush.

"To who are you referring?" replied Rice.

"To Hu," said Bush.

"That's what I'm asking you," snapped Rice. "Who cares deeply about visiting the Capital Building?"

"That's really Hu's private business," said Bush.

"I don't know who's business that is, you tell me, Mr. President," said Rice. "And by the way, wasn't Hu supposed to be here by now?"

"Who are you talking about?" said Bush.

"Hu," yelled Rice, who by now was sweating profusely.

The President's conversation with Rice went on for a reported two and a half hours before most of the assembled press and officials left when it started to rain. President Jintao never showed up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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