North Carolinians approved a measure yesterday sanctifying marriage between first cousins. It is the first of its kind in the US but eleven other southern states are expected to follow suit. Two little-noticed provisions decriminalize sex with barnyard animals and the telling of fairy tales in public schools.
The Reverend T. J .McCorkle of Louisburg, NC, the leader of the group sponsoring the referendum stated, "It aint nothing we aint been doing anyways but we figured it was time to stand up, so to speak, and be counted! Besides, you ever try to check into a Motel 6 with your donkey and see the look on them Arabs faces? Don't make no difference, donkey might be better lookin than your cousin, they turns white as a Yankee in a snow storm when they sees the donkey. Better to kill two birds with two stones."
A reporter from the local Franklin Times called out, "Reverend, what about the fairy tales, what's with that?"
McCorkle chuckled, "Our Mama's didn't raise no stupid kids! You start talkin about fairy's pretty soon, them kids will want to be one! Next thing you know they be tryin to teach our kids to walk without draggin their knuckles on the ground! Not on our watch!" McCorkle paused, "and then did a reprise of the old Phil Harris song, "and that's what we like about the South!"