Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Mitt Romney

Saturday, 5 May 2012

Seamus, the Romney family dog called a press conference late yesterday. At first, the media thought it was a joke of some kind and crowded the press room at the Romney campaign headquarters. They were "shocked and surprised" as one journalist put it when the Irish Setter took the podium and spoke in a distinct Irish brogue.
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The Associated Press reports the room was hushed as Seamus began to speak: "First of all Buckos, I was the one that made the decision to ride on the top of the car! Let me ask you something," he paused, "how would you like to spend twelve hours in the car with Mitt? I thought so! Not a pretty though, right? You ever hear what he thinks is a joke and if you let out one little yip because you have to, you know, get to a rest stop, he yells at you,throws you one of those cheap dog biscuits made out of road kill and keeps going. As for myself, I'd d rather poop on the roof and let it run down his collar when he gets out of the car. What a dork! Besides, all I heard for a solid day before we left was Mitt whining, "Should we put the dog on the roof , should we put the dog in the car, should we put the dog on the roof, I mean like over and over and over again. The dude couldn't make a solid decision between heaven and hell! I finally said, "Screw it Mitt, I'm riding on the roof! And fellows and gals, as Paul Harvey use to say, "That's the rest of the story."

A reporter from MSNBC called out "Do you really like to ride up there, you know, in the wind and rain and such?"

Seamus: "It's OK," he paused, "but when he put that fat guy from New Jersey up there for the campaign tour of Florida, well, that cut it Bucko!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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