Written by DrFreeze
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Thursday, 3 May 2012

David Lindersnout, of Cedar Falls, Idaho, woke up yesterday from a 30 year coma.
Lindersnout had some friends and family in the area. Doctors were more baffled by the man's attitude after only a few hours of being awake.

Lindersnout was visited by his younger brother (who was born after Lindersnout went into the coma) and several young sisters and cousins. After 2 hours of visiting, the visiting hours were over and the family was asked to return the next day. Mr. Lindersnout complained to the nurse "Why are all those girls so obsessed with this Justin Beaver girl? And since when are girls named Justin?" (Lindersnout was referring to Justin Bieber). Lindersnout then reportedly asked for the TV remote and some privacy.

Minutes later he rang the nurses bell and complained that his Television remote control was broken. His calls were unanswered, allegedly because the nurses were Justin Bieber fans.

The attending physician came in the next morning and spoke with Mr. Lindersnout and was appalled when the patient explained "I want to be put back into a coma". When pressed for a reason he explained that his remote control was broken. And he was forced to watch hours of reruns of 16 and Pregnant, and The Kardashians.

The attending physician ordered musical therapy for the patient and turned on a local Top 100 radio station.

Mr. Lindersnout was found 21 stories below the window of his room, face down on the pavement.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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