Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 3 May 2012

image for Animal Rights Activists Announce Cinco de Mayo Anti-Bullfighting Protest In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
This bull was disqualified from participating in a bullfight in Mexico because he isn't black. (Photo by Rico Chorizo).

LOS ANGELES - The California chapter of POOPA, People for the Overbearing and Obnoxious pushing of Pampering Animals, has announced that they will be traveling down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico on Cinco de Mayo (May 5) to protest the centuries old practice of Sunday afternoon bullfights.

Gertrude Burntweather, the director of the California chapter of POOPA, stated that her group has chartered a 727 jet and 116 members will be flying into The General Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana Airport in Cabo at 7:13 a.m. on Saturday.

The group will be staying at The Puffy Taco Resort & Casino which is co-owned by Ryan Seacrest and Steven Tyler of American Idol fame.

Mrs. Burntweather noted that Mr. Seacrest and Mr. Tyler have kindly agreed to give the entire POOPA party a 45 percent discount on their rooms, meals, casino chips, tequila shots, and resort souvenirs.

According to Mrs. Burntweather the POOPA protesters group plans on marching from the Puffy Taco at noon down Pancho Villa Boulevard and ending up three miles later at the Cerveza Corona Light Commemorative Bullring where they will conduct their organized protest.

Paco del Toro a reporter with The Cabo San Lucas Morning Olé News spoke with Mrs. Burntweather and informed her that the mayor of Cabo San Lucas advised him to inform the POOPA group that they do not have a permit to conduct a march nor do they have a permit to conduct a protest.

Del Toro asked Mayor Ebenezer "Cerveza" Cortez how much the two permits would cost. He was told that the fee for the march is $215,000 (U.S.) and the fee for the protest is $235,000 but that he would graciously let them have both permits for the discounted sum of $448,000 or a savings of $2,000.

Del Toro pointed out that the mayor said that he would even throw in some complimentary nachos, professional maracas, and every POOPA member would get two-for-one Papaya Margaritas.

Mrs. Burntweather said that the march fee and the protest fee were both tremendously outrageous and exorbitantly high-priced. She then let it be known that POOPA would be willing to pay Mayor Cortez a total of $200 U.S. for both permits.

Mayor Cortez became unbelievably incensed and extremely insulted. He angrily explained that if the POOPA people did not pay the $448,000 U.S. that they would all be arrested by the Cabo San Lucas Police Department.

He grinned as he lit his Cuban cigar and added that the group would then be tried, found guilty, and sent down to the infamous Yucatan Federal Prison which the locals refer to as La Prision El Infierno de Los Infiernos, which translated means The Hell of All Hells Prison.

Mrs. Burntweather says she is not worried because she has the private cell phone number to the American ambassador to Mexico Carlitos P. Sopapilla along with the private cell phone numbers of George Lopez, Eva Longoria, and Tony Romo.

In A Related Story. Mexico's Federal Chamber of Commerce estimates that during the Cinco de Mayo weekend festivities, the inhabitants of the Republic of Mexico will consume over 3 billion enchiladas, 5 billion tamales, and 19 billion bottles of Dos Equis Beer.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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