Written by The rat
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Sunday, 16 April 2006

image for George W. Bush Ousted In Military Coup
The president thanking his troops

A day of high drama in Washington DC has seen the US Dollar reach its highest value against the Euro since 1999 and retired Army Major General John Batiste ensconced in the Oval Office as "Caretaker" president.

A well-planned, simultaneous operation at Camp David, the Whitehouse and other dispersed locations across the nation's capital, saw the republican administration given its marching orders.

In the face of ever increasing criticism of his handling of the Iraq war, his English pronunciation and his dogged defence of Ronald Dumsfeld's infantile planning of a major military operation, it seems patience finally ran out among a smorgasbord of high-ranking military men with many years of combat experience among them.

A covert operation consisting of just a half-dozen marines loyal to General Batiste, surprised George Bush at Camp David where he was holidaying during Easter and resulted in the overpowering of his bodyguards and the president being put under house arrest. Laura Bush offered only token resistance but according to witnesses, quietly encouraged the marines to lock him up and throw away the key.

The Washington DC operation also went according to schedule where it was envisaged that minimal opposition would be experienced after surrounding the Whitehouse and the Pentagon with tanks, infantry armed with rocket-propelled grenades and vehicles equipped with loudspeakers blaring non-stop Rolling Stones records.

In a synchronised early morning action, CIA operatives sympathetic to General Batiste took Dick Cheney, Karl Rove and Condoleeza Rice into custody. It was considered a waste of resources to bother about Ronald Dumsfeld as bugged telephone conversations revealed he was about to flee the country anyway and any organised opposition from him would probably have been a total failure.

Best wishes to President Batiste have been flooding in from many of the world's leaders including Osama bin Laden and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Tony Blair has been a notable exception so far.

President Batiste, in a nationwide broadcast promised the American people, "My tenure in the Oval Office is not permanent and I intend to hold a fair and democratic election as soon as I can get in touch with Colin Powell".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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