Written by Billy Bloom
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Topics: Dick Clark

Saturday, 28 April 2012

image for Dick Clark Begins Preparations for New Year's Eve 2013
Dick Clark, lounging poolside at his Beverly Hills home

Undaunted by his recent death, Dick Clark officially began preparing for this coming December's "Rockin' New Year's Eve" celebration on ABC.

Responding to skeptics who questioned his announcement, the corpse replied "Come on! Did you see me the past few years? They basically propped me up and moved my jaw with invisible wires, anyway. This won't be that much more of a stretch!"

Ryan Seacrest, co-host of the special, welcomed the idea. "Dick is always a delight to work with," he said of the 107 year-old fossil. "Dead or alive, I'm sure he'll bring the same value and work ethic to the show."

In deference to his deceased state, Clark may begin his traditional 15-second countdown sometime in August.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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