Written by Dr. Billingsgate
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Topics: Chevy Chase

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

image for Mitt Romney Cites Clark Griswold For Idea To Put Dog On Car Roof
Eat This Foo!

BILLINGSGATE POST - When asked why he used to strap his Irish Setter, Seamus, on his station wagon roof during road trips with his family, Mitt Romney said he got the idea from Clark Griswold in the movie, Vacation.

As anyone who has seen this Chevy Chase classic remembers, Clark Griswold strapped the deceased Aunt Edna on the roof of the family station wagon on the way to Wally World. Instead of putting her in a dog crate, he mounted her on a rocking chair as they drove through the rain storm through Arizona on their way to California. Upon reaching Flagstaff, his family dropped her off on the patio of a relative, and after a brief eulogy, proceeded on their vacation trip to Wally World.

The idea of a twelve hour road trip with a dog strapped to the car roof is not nearly as bad as tying the dog to the back bumper and taking him for a 600 mile jog. This has been done, you know; sometimes by accident and sometimes not.

Mitt Romney's wife relates that Seamus loved it. "He would see that crate and, you know, he would, like, go crazy because he was going with us on vacation. It was, to me, a kinder thing to bring him along than to leave him in a kennel for two weeks."

This has been no small issue. A Public Policy Polling found that 35 percent of voters said that they were less likely to vote for Mr. Romney because of his dog-handling. The same poll found that only 20 percent of voters would be less likely to vote for Barack Obama, even if he ate his Portuguese Water Dog, Bo, for breakfast.

In an interview with Blue Ray Washington of Jackson, Mississippi, a long time Democrat who voted nine times for Obama in 2008, Blue Ray said that, "gibben da circumfact da man stata etun dag wun he be jus a yungun in Injunesia, he jus in duh hab it of fonda dag foo. Nuttin wron wit dat."

This is just one of the issues that more than likely will define the election in November.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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