Written by Chrissy Benson
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Topics: Americans, work, stress, Rush

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

image for 99% of Americans Are Rushing to Places They Don't Want to Go
It's unclear exactly why - but Americans are constantly racing to get somewhere they don't want to go!

In a research study that confounded scientists, it was revealed that Americans live in constant state of hurry - and 99% of the rushers don't want to arrive at the place they're rushing to get to!

Says Dr. Anna Klein, Director of the Center for American Stress Studies, "We weren't surprised to learn that Americans move fast, and get stressed out and anxious about getting to where they're going in the shortest amount of time possible. But what blew us away was to see that the places that people are frantically rushing to get to are places they don't even want to go."

For instance, Dr. Klein's study showed Americans' #1 rushing destination is work.

"And yet," noted Dr. Klein, "99% of the people frantically rushing to get to their place of employment said they hated their jobs!"

According to Dr. Klein, the typical American's second-top rushing destination is the work DESK.

"People race down office hallways, to and from restrooms, to and from lunch, just to get back to their desks," reports Dr. Klein. "You'd think that these people must love their work so much that they can't wait to get back. Not so! In most cases, they're rushing back in order to 'get through' the next few hours of the workday."

What's the explanation? Dr. Klein's not exactly sure.

"It could be that subconsciously, Americans think that rushing to work will somehow make their workday go faster, leaving more time for the fun stuff," she speculated. "Or it could be they're just retarded."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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