Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Tuesday, 24 April 2012

Wal-Mart stock dropped sharply again today as the Associated Press is reporting that another scandal has emerged for the giant corporation. Sources within the Vatican have confirmed on condition of anonymity, that officials at the highest level at both the Vatican and Wal-Mart have come to a tentative agreement to place condom machines in convents ad confessionals around the globe. There has been an angry denial from both entities.

Rumors started to reach social networking sites on the internet when one of the Popes top assistants was sported driving around Rome in a yellow Cadillac Escalade convertible. His attractive and scantily clad companion was not identified. The Vatican press office says it was a case of mistaken identity but couldn't explain the other Cadillac Escalades convertibles seen at Vatican parking facilities.

In related news, an attempt was made by the AP to contact the College of Cardinals for a statement. The AP office in Rome was informed the Cardinals were at a retreat at the Cartagena's hotel in Cartagena, Columbia. A spokesman for the Vatican issued a statement saying the location of the meeting was a coincidence and had absolutely nothing to do with secret service.

Breaking news! The European Union, with one exceptiom have expelled Wal-Mart from their countries. Becky-Becky-Becky-Stan whose entire population works at one giant Wal-Mart store in that country, abstained.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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