Written by SLee

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Topics: Ted Nugent

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

During a secret service investigation of Nugent for his so called threat on the president's life, a diary allegedly written by the infamous rock start of the 80's was discovered and deemed proof of his intent to commit unlawful acts.

According to an unnamed representative of the secret service, the diary contains sufficient evidence of Nugent's plans for committing several criminal activates. Even though the diary did not contain any information relating to a plan to assassinate the president, the secret service felt Nugent was still a danger to society and arrested him for being a "potential criminal". He is awaiting trial in an undisclosed federal penitentiary, without bound.

In a public statement released by the secret service, Nugent has been sited with intent to commit several malicious crimes such as; Jay walking during rush hour on Wall Street, eating in the ocean while lassoing fish, throwing full bottles of beer at a tree, (it's legal if the bottles are empty), eating lollypops in public, and flying a kite within city limits. The secret service admits they do not have any proof that Nugent actually committed any of these crimes as of yet but fear he is a ticking time bomb that could be set off at any time.

Ted Nugent could not be reached for comment but his publicist was quoted as saying, "Mr. Nugent proclaims his innocence and did not know that he was committing a crime by writing down his deepest most intimate fantasies and had no intention of ever carrying out such vicious crimes."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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