Washington DC -- George W. Bush's presidency came to a sensational, ignominious and premature end today after witnesses reported seeing him running amuck through the corridors of the Whitehouse.
A presidential aide who wished to remain anonymous said, "It's fairly normal for the boys to let their hair down after a few beers on a Friday afternoon but this was 8.30 am on Tuesday morning and the president hadn't even had a drink yet".
"I was standing outside the oval office when I heard a loud thump, glass breaking and a tirade of abuse from the president bellowing down the telephone threatening to bust a General to Private if he didn't carry out his order to hit Teheran's atomic facilities with a strike forthwith".
I heard him say, "Don't you know you're talking to the commander-in-chief and what Dick Cheney tells me to do goes, so when I order a nukular strike on a third world country you'd better do it or I'll have you busted before you can say Ronald Dumsfeld".
"Fortunately, the general was wise to the mental condition of the president and he hung up on him. This seemed to enrage George and he burst out of the oval office muttering something about sending the general to Afghanistan. He grabbed a fire axe from a cabinet, started swinging it about menacingly, ran up a staircase, took a young female intern hostage and threatened to do her some harm if he didn't get his way ".
"Well, you can imagine all hell broke loose as we hadn't seen anything like this in the Whitehouse since 1972 when Richard Nixon lost it after Henry Kissinger called him a wimp for not bombing the French embassy ".
"The secret service boys finally disarmed the president, freed his hostage, cuffed and sedated him. The Whitehouse psychiatrist pronounced him a danger to himself and ordered he be taken away".
At a later press conference Scott McLellan said, "Vice president Cheney will be handling the affairs of state for the indeterminate future and I don't intend to field questions, thank you very much".