As guests at the elegant Cartagena's Hotel in Cartagena, Columbia were enjoying quiet drinks and the soft music of a harpist in the hotel lounge, several agents of the US Secret Service burst through the front door of the hotel. "It was like a scene from Animal House," noted a visiting American. "Two of the agents were screaming in unison, "Off with the ear piece, on with the cod pieces, it's post time!" The rest is history.
According to the latest reports, the scandal erupted when two agents attempted to pay a prostitute for only one "service" call, when in fact, it had been two. Another prostitute claimed an agent tried to pay her with a chocolate bar and a package of Wrigley chewing gum. "I don't chew gum," stated the woman. Most of the agents were promptly removed from the country with the exception of one who is being held by local authorities. Apparently, he had been found naked behind the hotel. Written across his lower abdomen was the title of the famous Peggy Lee song "Is that all there is!" A US one dollar bill had been stuffed in his mouth. The US embassy is investigating.
In related news, Mark Sullivan, head of the US Secret Service appeared before a US House sub-committee this morning. He was invited to make an opening statement. He began, "Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone." The meeting was adjourned with no further notice.