Written by Chrissy Benson
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Wednesday, 18 April 2012

image for Polls Show Most Americans Think Election Already Happened
According to political analysts, the 2012 election is awash in a sea of ignorance - among voters and candidates alike.

While America is known for its widespread voter apathy, recently reported levels of sheer voter ignorance still managed to astound long-time political analysts when polls revealed that nearly 72% of Americans believe that the 2012 presidential election has already occurred.

"I thought Obama said he was going to withdraw completely within the next year," said 24-year-old Rachel DeMill of Brooklyn, New York. "Or was he talking about something besides the election?"

Trent Patterson of Hartford, Connecticut, stated, "I thought the finals were the other night. Didn't Mitt Romney's home state of Kentucky end up winning?"

When asked who she thought had become America's new president and vice president, Ebony Smith of Jacksonville, Florida, answered with no hesitation. "Obama, of course, and he spoke out in favor of Trayvon Martin for vice president. Thank God, I could never have voted for George Zimmerman."

Boston resident Joe Platt told a poll-taker, "It was big blow to us here in Massachusetts, but Romney didn't end up winning. I didn't see the final race results but I heard it was a Kenyan who won, so it must have been Obama."

When asked if he himself had cast a vote in the election, Platt replied, "Not yet, but I filed for the automatic six-month extension, so I should be fine submitting it late."

Kimberly Preston, an actress/model living in Los Angeles, may have put it best: "I have no idea if the election's over, but I'm definitely over it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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