Written by Don Fulsom
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Topics: Plastic Surgery

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Forget facelifts, fake boobs and hair transplants. The American public has tired of these old-line classics in their efforts to beat Father Time. In fact, the biggest craze in plastic surgery focus on "chinplants," forehead downsizing, and the "Popeye Look."

"A chinplant enhances and defines the chin line, but first we must cut out all the yellow "lard" we doctors call it from the patient's double chins." Dr. Rudyard Kumar of the Pakistani arms of Doctors with Borders.

"These patients are usually tubs, so after we excise all the yellow chin gook and suture up the chin line, these individuals-at least from the chin up-look a hell of a lot younger. Maybe a whole half-year younger, " he boasted.

Dr. Kumar refused to say exactly how and why forehead downsizing and the Popeye Look are also all the rage, but he did not deny reports that the forehead downsizing was inspired by Nina Totenberg, the reporter gal on the McLaughlin talk show who has no forehead.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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