Written by TomFoolery
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Topics: New York, Playboy

Wednesday, 5 April 2006

image for Prime Time News: Katie Couric to Bare More Than Soul in Playboy Photospread
Couric "Muscles" Way Into Playboy

NEW YORK (CBSNEWS)-Heads will soon be a-turnin' in the direction of soon-to-be CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric. But eyes will focus not so much on the television screen as across the glossy ‘naughty newsless' pages of Playboy magazine. Hoping to lure back the eyes of male viewers who have been turning their noses up at the nascent network's newsless nonsense, Katie is banking on a "coming out" party in the racy rag slated to run abreast of her news anchor debut.

And, while NBC is left to bear a burden bare its Today topper, apparently CBS execs could not be more pleased. Regarding a possible conflict of interest posed by K-K-K-Katie's position at the nightly news desk pitted against a plethora of provocative positions she'll no doubt assume as a ‘Heff hottie,' mainstream media mouthpieces were watering to say the least.

"I worked my buns off for NBC. Now, I'm really gonna show my stuff," beamed the bouncy, bleached-blonde bimbo as she made her public announcement. She also hung around after her media moment to autograph jock straps and boxers for the dozen or so cash-convinced converts in the crowd.

It goes without saying that any real attention paid to Couric as a pedantic purveyor of party propaganda is solely out of morbid curiosity, without the merest degree of respect for her stale, simpering style of baseless, Bush-bashing BS. And, a glance at her liberal leaning reveals that she truly has nothing to lose by casting fate and fashion to the wind. Obviously, her strategy is based on the assumption that, having ogled her in a Playboy photospread, male viewers' minds will be numbed in recollection to her ‘without a stitch' pics to the ‘without a shred' of credibility of her pathetic pandering prattle.

Though the dollar figure for the photo pact between the departing daytime darling and the mammarian media mogul was not disclosed, Katie's only reaction was to flash a sly, seductive smile, no doubt a wish for wonton worshipers.

And, you heard it here first folks: SpoofNews had first-hand eavesdropped evidence that the CBS/Playboy ploy is but the first step in the not-so-coy Katie's calculated career choices. Stripped of any other credentials, once her popularity is exposed in Playboy and then continued by CBS, her ultimate goal is to anchor the cable-televised Naked News.

Only then will she prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that, when she's got nothin' on, she's got nothin' goin' on!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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