Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Mitt Romney

Saturday, 14 April 2012

It was a crowded hall yesterday at the NRA convention when Mitt Romney, candidate for president, took the podium. Media reports indicate the assembled crowd appeared to be somewhat less than enthusiastic. Due to these circumstances and wanting to ingratiate himself to the crowd, he was brief in his remarks.

The Associated Press states that Romney took the podium with his trademark smile and declared in a cheerful voice, "I kilt me a pussy cat when I as only three!" Not seeming to notice several groans coming from the audience, he continued, "I not only like hunting, I LOVE guns! Remember, an automatic weapon made in Beijing is a person, too, my friends!" He seemed not to notice the dozen or so attendees who fled the hall.

Apparently, according to the media in attendance, Romney continued in a cheerful tone. "Yes siree fellow gun lovers, guns don't kill people, little kids who go hunting with their dads kill people!"

At this juncture, reporters say the hall started to empty. Romney, apparently oblivious to the mood of the crowd and determined to leave them laughing, closed with the following: He grabbed his crotch and shouted, "From these cold dead hands!"

As the few remaining attendees left the hall in their wheelchairs, Romney turned to his aides and was heard to say in in an ebullent tone, "How about it guys, pretty good, huh?"

He turned to his wife, and said, "Pretty good, huh, Ann?"

He turned to another aide and declared "Where's the next stop? I've saved some really good ones for it! Hey Ann, you feeling OK?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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